Talk about your stereotypes...

Hello my bloggie friends!

So much time has passed since my last entry... I always try to find inspiration to write, not to just write about anything and everything. Quite likely I would bore you all to death! Lol :)

Well, since the last entry, I have hit some serious goals with my personal and professional life. First, I got my Mirena IUC removed and I feel AMAZING. I didn't like it very much to begin with, but it was necessary as I didn't want anymore children. Plus, I read this complaint page on the Mirena, where all the entries were from women unhappy with their Mirena. I was so shocked to see that the symptoms they were complaining about were some of the very ones that I was unhappy with! I didn't think it was b/c of my Mirena... well, now that it's gone I know it was. Goal accomplished :)

Now, the goal I'm most proud that I accomplished was getting my VT Instructors license for Esthetics! I can now be an Esthetics teacher in the state of VT! SO AWESOME. I really have my coworker to thank (the one who took the job I coveted), b/c without her successful promotion at work I wouldn't have been so motivated to show her up. (I'll be the first to admit that I am a very sore loser). My initial inspiration to provide a better Esthetics curriculum came from my kid sister, who was at the time enrolled in one of the many inadequate Esthetics programs in VT. I would grill her about what she was learning, how the teacher taught the class, the teacher's credentials, etc. I was at breakfast one morning with her and the rest of my family when it hit me... I would be a way better teacher than my sister's teacher! I, after the bitter taste of defeat from my coworker advancing at work left in my mouth, had found a new direction to take in my career!

Okay.... so now what?

Well, now in creeps the insecurity. The anticipated anxiety, nerves, and.... fear. Yes. Fear. I have always had a fear of success. Since I was a kid, really. Even after all the lessons on humility my parents gave me as a kid, I just can't be humble about my successes. I really am a braggart. I love for people to know that I am great, wonderful, successful, beautiful, intellegent, blah blah blah... see? There I go :P I know not to brag so much it makes others uncomfortable, but with all this in mind, the lessons of my childhood yesteryear conflicting with my ambition usually leads to- procrastination. Ah, yes, good old procrastination. This is usually when my animal guides start showing up....

I have had a few different guides over the years but two of them have always been consistent. The toad and the spider. Sounds like a good name for a Wicca shop :) Maybe when I retire... lol :) For years I have just thought they showed up when they liked, until recently. I found 3 toads within 30 feet of each other within 3 mins, all in my garden. They were enormous. Naturally, I can't resist picking them up and studying them, giving them compliments, and graciously praising them for eating all the nasties in my garden :) Weird, as I hadn't seen any at all this year until recently... Now, each week, I must vacuum up yards of cobwebs in my house. As I write from my bed, I can look to my right and see a common house spider spying on me. Always, toads and spiders. I have looked at their totem meanings and it's really creepy how accurately they play into my current state of life.

THE TOAD

"The appearance of a toad heralds a successful time of drawing upon and using our inner resources. Toads are associated with money and luck- especially changing your bad luck to good. A toad also heralds the need for self-examination... Ask these questions- Am I hesitating to act and missing opportunities? Am I allowing fear to hinder progress?Have I forgotten my inner strength? A toad totem is a representation of the Moon, and represents both life and death." Hmm.. let's see, representation of the Divine Female, and life and death. Sounds like Hecate has her spy-eyes on me considering I am at a crossroads... lol :) And yes to all those questions... now on to the spider.

THE SPIDER

"The spider is an ancient symbol of mystery, power, and growth. As the spider gently weaves her web so we weave our realities. She calls us to make use of our creativity and weave our dreams into our destiny. When the Spider appears to us, it is a message to be mindful of the choices we are making - and ask ourselves: How are my choices affecting my life? How can my choices improve my life? How are my choices affecting others in my life? Not only do Spiders and their webs draw attention to our life choices, they also give us an overview of how we can manipulate our thinking in order to construct the life we wish to live. Spiders do this by calling our awareness to the amazing construction of their webs. Fully functional, practical, and ingenious in design - Spider webs serve as homes, food storage, egg incubators - seemingly limitless in their functionality. When we consider this ingenious diversity, we can also consider the web-like construct of our own lives. How are we designing the most effective life? When we see our decisions, choices and actions as far-reaching, effective tools in life - we can see how we weave a web that can either serve us or enslave us. The Spider symbol meaning beckons us to be mindful of our behaviors - be smart about the life we weave for ourselves. We can derive more Spider symbol meaning when we consider certain subtle characteristics that represent ancient symbols of infinity. The infinity symbol meanings occur when we consider most Spiders have eight eyes and all have eight legs. The number eight is also a symbol of infinity or lemniscate (an eight turned on its side). Also, the vibrational frequency indicates the meaning of number eight involves cycles, passage of time, and evolution." I have learned to be more kind to spiders over the years, and now I will really think twice before being reactive... All this confirms that I need to be progressive and start really acting out the choices I've had in reflection for wayyyy too long :)

All this to think about & for a Witch who doesn't believe in coincidence but Divine design, the toad and the spider couldn't have shown up at a better time.